"Think of the Filipino family like bagoong (fermented shrimp paste). To an outsider, it might smell strong, look unappealing, and seem far too salty. It’s “messy” in its very composition. But to those who know it, it is the essential flavor that completes the meal. It provides depth, soul, and salt to life."
I have bagoong within reach right now ... as I write this. :)
Love it! The fact that you have bagoong within arm's reach proves you are living the authentic Filipino experience in every sense of the word.
It really is the perfect metaphor, isn't it? It’s loud, it’s intense, and it's not for anybody who's not ready for it. —but try having a Filipino meal without it, and everything just tastes flat.
Enjoy your meal (and the beautiful chaos that goes with it)!
One reason why Filipino families are messy is because of the lack of clear communication. It might ruffle feathers, but more “sorrys” and “thank yous” bring peace and clarity to the situation and relationship as a whole. I think it is time Filipino families start saying what is unsaid. All the guessing and some of the mess can be avoided by swallowing ones pride or fear and saying things out loud.
Hi Peng! You’ve put your finger on the exact point where tradition clashes with modern reality. You’re completely right—a huge chunk of the "mess" comes down to the fact that we often communicate through a complex code of hints, sighs, and padala (gifts) instead of just using our words.
There is an undeniable truth to what you’re saying. Swallowing pride, overcoming the fear of confrontation, and introducing basic emotional accountability—like a genuine "I'm sorry for crashing here so long" or a clear "Thank you for carrying this load"—would instantly dismantle so much of the underlying resentment that builds up in Filipino households. It would stop the guessing games.
Do you think the younger generation is actually making headway in changing this, or is the old "tiis-ganda" (endure it quietly) mindset still winning out?
"Think of the Filipino family like bagoong (fermented shrimp paste). To an outsider, it might smell strong, look unappealing, and seem far too salty. It’s “messy” in its very composition. But to those who know it, it is the essential flavor that completes the meal. It provides depth, soul, and salt to life."
I have bagoong within reach right now ... as I write this. :)
"... It provides depth, soul, and salt to life."
You said it! :)
Love it! The fact that you have bagoong within arm's reach proves you are living the authentic Filipino experience in every sense of the word.
It really is the perfect metaphor, isn't it? It’s loud, it’s intense, and it's not for anybody who's not ready for it. —but try having a Filipino meal without it, and everything just tastes flat.
Enjoy your meal (and the beautiful chaos that goes with it)!
One reason why Filipino families are messy is because of the lack of clear communication. It might ruffle feathers, but more “sorrys” and “thank yous” bring peace and clarity to the situation and relationship as a whole. I think it is time Filipino families start saying what is unsaid. All the guessing and some of the mess can be avoided by swallowing ones pride or fear and saying things out loud.
Hi Peng! You’ve put your finger on the exact point where tradition clashes with modern reality. You’re completely right—a huge chunk of the "mess" comes down to the fact that we often communicate through a complex code of hints, sighs, and padala (gifts) instead of just using our words.
There is an undeniable truth to what you’re saying. Swallowing pride, overcoming the fear of confrontation, and introducing basic emotional accountability—like a genuine "I'm sorry for crashing here so long" or a clear "Thank you for carrying this load"—would instantly dismantle so much of the underlying resentment that builds up in Filipino households. It would stop the guessing games.
Do you think the younger generation is actually making headway in changing this, or is the old "tiis-ganda" (endure it quietly) mindset still winning out?