More than Words: The Filipino Ways of Expressing Love

How unspoken gestures define Filipino relationships.

February may be the shortest month of the year, but with Valentine’s Day right in the heart of it, this month certainly doesn’t fall short on significance.

While Filipinos celebrate Valentine’s Day with their romantic partners, they also use this time to celebrate their love for family, friends, and community.

In the Philippines, expressing love and affection goes beyond simply saying “I love you” or the usual grand gestures like candlelit dinners and lavish gifts. Here, love is expressed in ways that don’t always involve words but are deeply felt nonetheless. Although love and affection shine brighter on Valentine’s Day, they are actually a daily occurrence, woven into everyday gestures that take on many forms.

Action Speaks

For many Filipinos, love is less about what you say and more about what you do.

You might not hear a Filipino parent say “I love you” to their child every day, but they’ll wake up at the crack of dawn to prepare breakfast, reminding their kids to bring an umbrella when it looks like rain, or slipping extra baon (allowance) into their pockets “just in case.”

A Filipina mom’s love needs no words

Or a husband who cares for her wife in his own unique ways. Whether it’s driving her to work or making sure her phone is always charged before bed, his love is evident in the little things he does even though he might not always say the magic words.

The foundation of Filipino relationships - whether between family, friends, or partners - are built on acts of service. Love is expressed through quiet, consistent efforts, creating a strong bond that speaks louder than any grand declarations.

Food is Love

If a Filipino offers you food, congratulations - you’re loved. Nothing says “I care about you” more than a steaming bowl of sinigang or a lovingly prepared plate of adobo. Filipino wives, moms and lolas (grandmas) are especially known for this. They may not always express affection in words, but you’ll know you’re cherished when they ask, “Kumain ka na ba?” (Have you eaten yet?). Or when they pile extra rice onto your plate.

And this doesn’t just apply to family. Friends, neighbors, even strangers - Filipinos will feed anyone and everyone as a sign of warmth and hospitality. If you’ve ever been invited to a Filipino gathering, you already know the rule: refusing food is not an option.

This cherished tradition is very much alive in Filipino communities abroad. No matter where they are in the world, Filipinos bring with them the culture of sharing food as an expression of love and care.

When it comes to love in the Philippines, food speaks louder than words

I want to share two instances where my wife, I, and friends alike experience this on a regular basis, involving two very dear friends who constantly cook up amazing food for us.

The first one would often say that he doesn’t regularly cook for everyone. That he only does it for the people he loves - his family and friends. And from our experience - when he cooks, he gives it his all!

Then there’s the second one who takes hospitality to the next level. Every time we go to their place for our yearly visit, they pamper us with incredible food - steaks that have been dry-aged for 20plus days, meats that have been smoked for hours to perfection.

With their exceptional talents, every meal feels like a feast, made with so much care and thoughtfulness. Their love and generosity shine through in every dish, and we are lucky because their culinary creations are genenuinely bunnylicious!

The Ultimate Expression

Filipino love is also deeply rooted in sacrifice. Overseas Filipino Workers (OFWs) are a prime example. Millions leave their families behind to work abroad, enduring homesickness just to provide a better life for their loved ones. Their love is shown in balikbayan boxes filled with presents, in the remittances sent back home to support family, and in the long, teary airport goodbyes that speak volumes without a single “I love you” being said.

Parents, siblings, and even friends make similar sacrifices.

Older siblings may sacrifice their own dreams or opportunities. They might give up a chance to go to a university they’ve always wanted just so the younger ones can have a shot at something greater.

Similarly, a friend who lends money without expecting anything in return shows the same kind of selflessness. When a friend is struggling and need support, they step in without hesitation, offering help because they care. No strings attached, no judgment.

Sweet Nothings

This doesn’t mean Filipinos never express love through words. The difference is, they often do it in a playful, indirect way. Terms of endearment like mahal, my lab, beh, or pangga (depending on which region you’re from) are common.

A Filipino guy courting a girl might not say “I love you” outright, but he will randomly send a text saying, “Ingat ka, ha?” (Take care, okay?), which translates to: You mean a lot to me. A lola (grandma) might call her apo (grandchild) maldita (brat), but it’s usually followed by a chuckle and a big hug.

Friends might remind you, “Message us when you get home,” and while it seems like a simple request, it's their way of saying, “You matter to me”. It’s a gesture that might not sound like much, but it speaks volumes about their care and concern for your safety and well-being.

The Filipino Way

At its core, Filipino love is warm, selfless, and enduring. It’s found in the small, everyday things. So, the next time a Filipino nags you to bring a jacket, shoves an extra serving of rice onto your plate, or messages you “text me when you get home,” don’t take it lightly. That’s love - Filipino style.